Christmas is the Season of Giving. Fortunately, at our church we have many ladies who are Gifted Givers – natural talents in tissue-rumpling, bow-tying and matching special something to special someone. Just take a look at the Secret Sisters flower cart. However, Christmas can be a challenge for Special Needs Givers like me. When it comes to giving, I have two problems– (1) I hate shopping; and (2) I have no Taste. It’s a lose-lose –by the time I find you that “perfect gift,” we’re both gonna be unhappy.
I like practical gifts. If it were up to me, the boys would wake up Christmas morning, rush to the tree, and unwrap a new backpack. Maybe even a new lunch box! AND in their stocking? A bar of soap and a coupon for a hair cut. On the other hand, my husband John thinks it’s not Christmas unless he can make the kids’ eyes “POP.” (Translation: he’s hidden the receipt so my eyes don’t pop.) The boys are lucky that Santa Claus is really their step-dad, and not their mom.
My Gift disability probably stems from my childhood. Dad was a Louisiana preacher. With four kids (me and my three younger brothers), we had no money for fancy Christmases. Nonetheless, my mother – who definitely has Taste – made the best of it. Every year, she took our beat-up, artificial Christmas tree, and turned it into a public works project.
First, the lights. For you younger folks, this was before pre-lit Christmas trees, and before lights were strung in parallel circuit. This meant we had to untangle the lights from last year, plug them in, and test every single bulb to find out which one was breaking the circuit.
Then, the fake snow. This was the heyday of hairspray and flurocarbons, where stores still sold snow in a can. We had our own little hole in the ozone, right above our house. Come on down, Santa!
Finally, Mom would let us kids hang the ornaments, which she immediately re-positioned in an even 360 degree distribution. As the finishing touch, she draped each branch with tinsel icicle strands.
The problem of Presents to go Under the Tree was left to my father – who, like me, definitely lacks Taste. Being a fundamentalist preacher, dad was something of a wheeler-dealer. On Christmas Eve, he would go to K-Mart and look for “unpublished sales.” One fateful year, my father saw opportunity in a pile of Zoid fragments.
You probably already know, Zoids is short for Zoic Androids, the metal-based life forms from the Planet Zi. Back in 1983, they were mildly (but not wildly) popular toys. My father scooped up the pile of Zoids – damaged packaging and all – and pressed the store manager into a bulk deal.
That year, there was an unprecedented number of presents under the tree. We were very excited. My brother Wells opened the first present – it’s a Zoid! But, some of the parts seemed to be missing. Dad said not to worry and passed my brother Hampton a present. Another Zoid! My brother John got -- a Zoid too!
I wasn’t worried, at least not at first. What parent would give their 12-year-old daughter broken Zoids for Christmas? Apparently, my father.
But don’t feel sorry for me – feel sorry for dad. Over the past 25 years, my brothers and I have gotten a lot of guilt trip mileage out of that Zoid Christmas. Long-term, it wasn’t such a bad gift after all.
Which brings me to my Christmas tip for all you Special Needs Gifters: eBay has some great deals on Zoids. Apparently now they’re a collector’s item.
Merry Christmas and God Bless!
L.T.L.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Christmas Monologue 2
Last year you guys heard me moaning and groaning about being a “Special Needs” gifter – how much I hate to shop, how I can never find the right gift for the right person. Well, I looked online and found the solution:
(Direct Quote) “FREE VIRTUAL CYBER ELECTRONIC CHRISTMAS GIFTS YOU CAN SEND ON-LINE! Send Virtual Fun Gifts – Fast – Free – No Check Out Lines! Remember It’s The Thought That Counts! Select Category and Press “Go”:
Send Virtual Candy
Send Virtual Chocolate
Send Virtual Holiday Flowers
Send a Virtual Horse
Send Virtual Money!”
You can also send holiday gifts from Facebook. (Direct Quote) “Send free gifts to all your Facebook friends. There are gifts for lots of holidays including some you may not have heard of. These gifts are all virtual, but that doesn’t make them any less cool to get.” I can see the wheels turning for some of you Facebook junkies. Like, do they have gifts for Bosses’ Day?
I just started getting into Facebook this year, I have about 108 “friends.” They include relatives from Alabama, grade school friends from Louisiana, college friends from the East Coast, one opposing counsel . . . even some of you. It’s quite the collection. Some of my Facebook friends are good buddies, people I could go have a beer with. Some of them I would never have a beer with in a million years. Because they are 9 years old.
It blows my mind, the way you can channel surf your Facebook Friends:
• Kate L_____ is loving the cool weather that blew through last night.
• Shala C_____ thinks you have got to be kidding her.
• Sally S_____ is in labor.
• Gloria S_____ voted "No" in the President Obama says that they will have a Holiday Tree this year instead of a Christmas Tree.
• Skee S_____ (my one opposing counsel) says there is a Texas Hold Em' Tournament with beer pong tournament to follow, $40 buy in gets you in plus all the FREE food and drink (beer included) you can consume. . .
• Linda E_____ just completed level 2 of Artichokes mastery in FarmVille!
• Adam H______can’t say it enough, “I LOVE MY WIFE!!!” =) 9 people liked that comment, 8 of whom were women
Sometimes we imagine God up in heaven, surfing his Facebook account, except he has about 6 billion friends. And we’re all down here, posting crazy stuff on our status and trying to get God to click the “like” button.
But Christmas showed us God is not like that. I’m speaking from my faith tradition, obviously. But the whole point of Christmas is that God left Heaven and Came Down, as a baby. There’s nothing less virtual than a baby, especially one with a dirty diaper. God is not a Facebook friend, he didn’t give us a free cyber electronic gift. He gave us himself.
This has been a tough year for many of us, and for the firm. The tendency is to disengage from each other, to remain “virtual” friends. You can ask my legal assistant, I’m definitely guilty of this. When things get busy I shut my door and start spamming her with e-mails. So I wanted to thank each of you for the times that you have given of yourselves in 2009. My hope for the New Year is that we can remember to be a real-life support for each other, for the good of our clients that depend on us.
I’d like to close with the annual shopping tip for all your Special Needs Gifters: Virtual Eggnog. I hear it has 0 carbs.
L.T.L.
(Direct Quote) “FREE VIRTUAL CYBER ELECTRONIC CHRISTMAS GIFTS YOU CAN SEND ON-LINE! Send Virtual Fun Gifts – Fast – Free – No Check Out Lines! Remember It’s The Thought That Counts! Select Category and Press “Go”:
Send Virtual Candy
Send Virtual Chocolate
Send Virtual Holiday Flowers
Send a Virtual Horse
Send Virtual Money!”
You can also send holiday gifts from Facebook. (Direct Quote) “Send free gifts to all your Facebook friends. There are gifts for lots of holidays including some you may not have heard of. These gifts are all virtual, but that doesn’t make them any less cool to get.” I can see the wheels turning for some of you Facebook junkies. Like, do they have gifts for Bosses’ Day?
I just started getting into Facebook this year, I have about 108 “friends.” They include relatives from Alabama, grade school friends from Louisiana, college friends from the East Coast, one opposing counsel . . . even some of you. It’s quite the collection. Some of my Facebook friends are good buddies, people I could go have a beer with. Some of them I would never have a beer with in a million years. Because they are 9 years old.
It blows my mind, the way you can channel surf your Facebook Friends:
• Kate L_____ is loving the cool weather that blew through last night.
• Shala C_____ thinks you have got to be kidding her.
• Sally S_____ is in labor.
• Gloria S_____ voted "No" in the President Obama says that they will have a Holiday Tree this year instead of a Christmas Tree.
• Skee S_____ (my one opposing counsel) says there is a Texas Hold Em' Tournament with beer pong tournament to follow, $40 buy in gets you in plus all the FREE food and drink (beer included) you can consume. . .
• Linda E_____ just completed level 2 of Artichokes mastery in FarmVille!
• Adam H______can’t say it enough, “I LOVE MY WIFE!!!” =) 9 people liked that comment, 8 of whom were women
Sometimes we imagine God up in heaven, surfing his Facebook account, except he has about 6 billion friends. And we’re all down here, posting crazy stuff on our status and trying to get God to click the “like” button.
But Christmas showed us God is not like that. I’m speaking from my faith tradition, obviously. But the whole point of Christmas is that God left Heaven and Came Down, as a baby. There’s nothing less virtual than a baby, especially one with a dirty diaper. God is not a Facebook friend, he didn’t give us a free cyber electronic gift. He gave us himself.
This has been a tough year for many of us, and for the firm. The tendency is to disengage from each other, to remain “virtual” friends. You can ask my legal assistant, I’m definitely guilty of this. When things get busy I shut my door and start spamming her with e-mails. So I wanted to thank each of you for the times that you have given of yourselves in 2009. My hope for the New Year is that we can remember to be a real-life support for each other, for the good of our clients that depend on us.
I’d like to close with the annual shopping tip for all your Special Needs Gifters: Virtual Eggnog. I hear it has 0 carbs.
L.T.L.
To Save a Life -- Movie Review
Plot:
The main character (Jake) is a high school basketball star with a cheerleader girl friend (Amy). Jake starts questioning the meaning of life when his childhood friend (Roger) commits suicide. Roger was a misfit and slightly disabled. Jake feels guilt for abandoning Roger during their freshman year, when Jake started becoming more popular and going out with Amy.
Issues Raised:
The movie delves into a number of serious topics, as follows:
Teenaged suicide and “cutting” (self-mutilation)
Drug and alcohol use by teens (including extended wild party scenes)
Teenaged sex, pregnancy, abortion and adoption
Parental infidelity and divorce
Hypocritical Christians (including the senior pastor’s son)
Spiritual Elements:
Jake is assisted in his journey by a very understanding youth pastor (Chris). The gospel is implied but not explicitly presented. We see Jake attending church and youth group, being baptized, having serious discussions with Chris, and praying. We see the youth group learning to love each other and reach out to “misfits.”
Elements of Potential Concern to Parents:
Exposure to serious, “older” teen issues listed above
Mild sex scene between Jake and Amy (Jake removes his shirt)
Immodest clothing worn by high school girls
Very mild profanity
Overall Recommendation:
“To Save a Life” does a good job showing Christianity in action. It also shows the consequences of sin, without being judgmental or preachy. I recommend this movie for older teens (15+). Some families may not be comfortable exposing their younger teens to the darker thematic elements and mild sex scene.
The main character (Jake) is a high school basketball star with a cheerleader girl friend (Amy). Jake starts questioning the meaning of life when his childhood friend (Roger) commits suicide. Roger was a misfit and slightly disabled. Jake feels guilt for abandoning Roger during their freshman year, when Jake started becoming more popular and going out with Amy.
Issues Raised:
The movie delves into a number of serious topics, as follows:
Teenaged suicide and “cutting” (self-mutilation)
Drug and alcohol use by teens (including extended wild party scenes)
Teenaged sex, pregnancy, abortion and adoption
Parental infidelity and divorce
Hypocritical Christians (including the senior pastor’s son)
Spiritual Elements:
Jake is assisted in his journey by a very understanding youth pastor (Chris). The gospel is implied but not explicitly presented. We see Jake attending church and youth group, being baptized, having serious discussions with Chris, and praying. We see the youth group learning to love each other and reach out to “misfits.”
Elements of Potential Concern to Parents:
Exposure to serious, “older” teen issues listed above
Mild sex scene between Jake and Amy (Jake removes his shirt)
Immodest clothing worn by high school girls
Very mild profanity
Overall Recommendation:
“To Save a Life” does a good job showing Christianity in action. It also shows the consequences of sin, without being judgmental or preachy. I recommend this movie for older teens (15+). Some families may not be comfortable exposing their younger teens to the darker thematic elements and mild sex scene.
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