Tonight, I want to talk about something strongly associated with holiday cheer. Something near and dear to our overworked hearts. Especially after Christmas Eve dinner.
WeightWatchers.
For the uninitiated, WeightWatchers is a point-tracking program to help you lose weight. You get a *very* limited number of points, which you then spend on food. For example, you might get 26 points a day, with an additional 49 weekly “bonus” points.
The good news is, fruits and vegetables are generally “free.” Which means you can eat as much of them as you want. The bad news is, the stuff you really want to eat – the “holiday cheer” that is just sitting there, staring at you, calling your name – costs 83 billion points.
Do I want 10 cups of cabbage, or do I want a tenth of a sliver of homemade chocolate covered toffee bark. Hmmm. . .
To make things more interesting, you can also earn “activity points.” For example, if you walk crisply around Villa Park for half an hour, you can eat 8 almonds! Or 4 french fries! Or 1 1/2 oreos! The possibilities for counting small food units are endless.
In the interests of partial disclosure, I am a passive WeightWatchers member. This means, most of the time, I don’t do anything. However, I do have a top secret number. My husband doesn’t even have clearance for this number. But when the scale hits this number, I become an active WeightWatchers member. At least temporarily.
This year, I got a new job, and I did a little too much schmoozing. As it happens I hit the top secret number right around Thanksgiving. Timing is everything, right? Especially since I was coming up to three holiday parties in one week.
First was my office party. They had bacon-wrapped tater tots! And a 6-foot buffet of miniature desserts! So I immediately blew all my weekly “bonus” points.
Next was my husband John’s office party. And the food was awful. Fortunately for me!
Two parties down, and the suspense is building. Will I stay under my points limit? The third party was one of these attorney associations, at night, standing-room only. I was standing next to the veggie tray, so far so good. Until my focus began shifting away from food, and onto my feet.
For some stupid reason, I had chosen to wear the “Intimidators.” These shoes – and I use the term “shoes” loosely -- give me about 4 extra inches in height. I wear them to work when I need to make opposing counsel cry. Only in the interests of justice, of course.
Except this time, I was the one about to cry. Really, there should be activity points for wearing heels at a standing-room-only party. Champion weight-shifting and toe curling! I should have won a medal! But at least I stayed under my points. There was no way I was walking to the nacho bar. It was just too painful!
Do you ever start to feel, that the Christian life is a points-tracking program? Instead of WeightWatchers, it’s StraightWatchers. Shed your spiritual flab while walking the straight and narrow!
You go to church on Sunday, pick up your weekly StraightWatchers points. During fellowship hour, you eat a jelly donut. Too late, you wonder whether jelly is sinful, and whether there is an exchange rate for points, between WeightWatchers and StraightWatchers. (Perhaps this should be a topic for further theological research?)
Tuesday morning rolls around, and your weekly bonus points are long gone. You’ve coveted, you’ve lusted, you’ve screamed at the kids. And you’re thinking, Crud! If I don’t read my Bible right now, I won’t have enough StraightWatcher points to speed on the toll road. And I can forget about watching Burn Notice tonight!
Thankfully, that’s not how the Christian life works. Jesus blows the top off any point tracking system. When he came to earth, and lived a perfect life, and died on the cross, and rose again -- it’s like he earned 83 billion activity points. And if you believe in him, he credits them all to your account!
Plus, Jesus changes your desires (something WeightWatchers can never do). You don’t have to count points, because you actually start to like the things that are good for you. Over time.
So keep the WeightWatchers if you have to. But for sure, junk the StraightWatchers! My wish for you, for us, this Christmas, is that we learn to freely enjoy Jesus, the greatest “holiday cheer” of all time.
