Eat, Pray, Love

Disclaimer: I have not read the book. However, I did see the movie with four girlfriends from the neighborhood.

Liz (played by Julia Roberts) is in pain from a failed marriage and a broken, re-bound relationship. She doesn’t know what she is seeking. But she knows where she wants to look: Italy, India and Bali.

Along the way, Liz meets many interesting people and has an Excellent Adventure:

• She shares comfort food with a make-shift Italian family

• She struggles through spiritual disciplines at meditation retreat in India

• She learns to “smile from her liver” with a Balinese medicine man

The theme of Liz’s journey appeared to be “accept and forgive yourself” because “God is within you.” By the end of the movie, Liz is apparently satisfied with what she has found. But I, the viewer, was not convinced. I believe that the guru and the medicine man led Liz away from the path of true healing.

“Pastoral duty requires that we attend to people’s deepest need and most urgent danger, not that we shore up their self-excusing defenses. The ultimate goal is to lead people to a restored relationship with God through the grace of forgiveness. But without repentance there can be no forgiveness. And without the acceptance of responsibility there can be no true repentance.” Christopher J. H. Wright, The Message of Ezekiel.

Liz grieved, but never took responsibility. She never admitted the seriousness of her decision to break her marriage vows (without any real provocation). She never admitted how she had hurt her husband, and how she had hurt her young boyfriend. She may have “forgiven herself,” but she certainly did not repent or apologize. So how is she going to experience true forgiveness, other than some fuzzy feeling in her own head?

By the end of the movie, Liz had found love again, in the form of an emotionally-expressive Brazilian man working in Bali.

First, speaking from experience, I’m not sure 6-8 months is sufficient time to heal from a divorce, regardless of how many time zones you cross.

Second, I wonder whether Liz’s new-found world view, with a life centered around the “God within,” is sufficient to sustain her in this new relationship.

May God bless your journey as you eat, pray and love.

Dragon Tattoo Review

Stieg Larsson’s “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” is currently No. 2 on Amazon. (The second and third books in the series are No. 4 and No. 1, respectively). So I picked it up.

It was an intriguing start:

• A hard-working journalist (Mikael) is sentenced to prison for libel.

• A scrappy young woman (Lisbeth, the one with the dragon tattoo) works as a free-lance private investigator.

• A business tycoon (Henrik) grieves the mysterious disappearance of his foster daughter (Harriet), decades ago.

I was sucked in. And late for work.

Around page 249, the story darkens. Lisbeth suffers a brutal sexual assault at the hands of her supposed legal guardian. Instead of alerting the authorities, however, she plots her own sick revenge.

Around page 318, the story darkens again. The disappearance of Harriet is unexpectedly linked to an entire series of unsolved, grotesque sexual assault / murder cases. The perpetrator justifies his evil behavior using Scripture references.

By this time I am more than halfway through the book. Question: do I put down the book in disgust? Or do I continue my investment in the likable Mikael and Lisbeth?

I am beginning to understand why each section of the book begins with a brief statistic on sexual violence against women in Sweden (the author’s home country). Presumably, Larssen is trying to bring attention to this important issue. Question: do we need this type of attention?

In contrast to the several misogynistic perverts profiled in this novel, Mikael is portrayed as a kindly man who treats women, even misunderstood women like Lisbeth, as human beings.

Nonetheless, Mikael’s relationships with women are distorted in their own way. He allows an ongoing relationship with his “best friend” (Erika) to end his marriage. (By the way, Erika is still married, but her husband is enlightened enough to not have a problem with her periodic hookups with Mikael).

During the course of the novel, Mikael becomes romantically involved with two additional women, at their insistence. Although he is unflaggingly kind to them, the relationships end in heartache – interestingly, only for the women. They are emotionally unable to share Mikael with Erika.

Mikael is also kind to his daughter, although without any sense of obligation. He admits being an absentee parent and a “poor” father.

Assuming that Larssen’s intentions were good rather than prurient (a big assumption), his story does not illustrate any realistic solution to the problem of violence against women.

First, women need men who are not only kind, but faithful. Men who are willing to shoulder their responsibilities as fathers and husbands. While Mikael gets points for not being a sadistic pig, he still wounds the women in his life. Deeply.

Second, women cannot fight violence on their own. Lisbeth’s revenge is a fantasy. Women must be encouraged to seek justice from the authorities, not discouraged. Women need to nurture strong support networks, not live in isolation.

Third, we do not need a graphic portrayal of psychotic abuse to understand it is evil. Entering the mind of the enemy, especially as a form of entertainment, can skew our perception of what is acceptable. (For example, Mikael comes off smelling like roses). What is the benefit of experiencing an imaginary torture scene in your head?

Feel free to share your thoughts. Meanwhile, if you are interested in the topic of violence against women, I encourage you to visit http://thesheepfold.org/victim/victim-overview.htm for a truth-grounded perspective.